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-   -   Things that make you say.... WTF? (http://volksrods.com/forum/showthread.php?t=37689)

Ray-Dean January 13th, 2014 04:29 PM

Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Not just automotive shit, just really fucked up thoughts. You know.... Shit that makes absolutely no sense in any conversation, yet somehow they just pop into you head from out if the blue...

Shit like:

If Lady GaGa was married, and she and her man's went to Mexico, the locals would call him Senior HaHa...

Don't ask me why, this shit just pops in there. One minute you're just sitting there naked watching the Muppet Show with a bowl of Jell-o in your lap, the next thing you know, you fully understand the intricacies of string theory...



Anyone else?

amrcnbadaz January 13th, 2014 05:18 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
WTF.......
Is wrong with you? lol Too many paint fumes today?


Ok, I will play your little game. I just heard a commercial today where they mentioned "garnished wages". Which of coarse is when they take away pay. But, If you put "garnish" on a salad, you are adding to it. WTF kind of jackass made up our vocabulary? :Idunno:

SCOTTRODS January 13th, 2014 05:22 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by amrcnbadaz (Post 569984)
WTF.......
Is wrong with you? lol Too many paint fumes today?


Ok, I will play your little game. I just heard a commercial today where they mentioned "garnished wages". Which of coarse is when they take away pay. But, If you put "garnish" on a salad, you are adding to it. WTF kind of jackass made up our vocabulary? :Idunno:

I always thought about "Wage Garnishment" like "Waging War"...

Either way, Would you like some greens on your Green?

d3ghia January 13th, 2014 11:06 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
What if Yoko Ono had not married John Lennon?


What if she had married Cher's former husband?


She would be known as







wait for it





















Yoko Ono Bono

tattooed_pariah January 13th, 2014 11:17 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
I rode the city bus a lot in high school, and one of the things I would do if someone kept trying to talk to me and I didn't want to talk to them is look them dead in the eye, and ask completely straight faced:

If you make two dead bodies have sex with each other, is that considered necrophilia, or puppetry?


yeah, I was a wierd kid.. :P

psychopork January 14th, 2014 02:35 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by tattooed_pariah (Post 569998)
yeah, I was a wierd kid.. :P

hmmm?? :funny:

Ray-Dean January 14th, 2014 03:30 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
I know right?!?!

Or military intelligence

Or adorable healthcare

Or nice Honda......

Crazy_C January 14th, 2014 03:36 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Here's one for y'all.

The map that most of you know and are taught to recognise in school, is actually inaccurate!! This is the correct, Peters Projection map. The UK seemed small before, now it's barely a blip!

http://www.hitxp.com/pics/peters-map.jpg

DrHax January 14th, 2014 03:55 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Have of you looked back at your life and wondered what would have happened if you took out one event from your life and changed the outcome? And how far do you start altering dominoes until your entire life is changed completely, or you end up a ditch dead because you forgot to tighten one lug nut on your left rear tyre. Seriously when I get bored, I think of Stupid crap, or I design crap.


I think I got the mad scientist gene in me. I was wondering if i got a alpha numerical Nixie tube running to a Adrunio and put little switches in the shifter, so when ever you shift it registers where it is, and have it default to neutral, and then conver the regular 12v DC output of the cars electrical stepping it down to a 9 volt? Would I be able to get a Nixie tube steampunky style Gear indicator? Possibly? But how long would the nixie tube last in a vw bouncing down the roa....


See I'll just leave that right there as it stands :wacko: Granted I know i'm a weird kid. I made no damn attempts to hide it. Oddly enough more people respected me walking down the school halls wearing a Top hat and my military overcoat then they ever did before :blink: :funny: So yeah I understand exactly what Dean said

















Should I be worried? :unsure:

DrHax January 14th, 2014 03:57 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Crazy_C (Post 570034)
Here's one for y'all.

The map that most of you know and are taught to recognise in school, is actually inaccurate!! This is the correct, Peters Projection map. The UK seemed small before, now it's barely a blip!

http://www.hitxp.com/pics/peters-map.jpg

I know this map. This is really what happens when you properly skin the globe :chillin: Granted I just had the mental image bear grylls tackling a globe with a flint knife in his mouth. :blink:

Iowa Mark January 14th, 2014 03:57 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
How many tri-state areas are there? I mean besides the right one.

Ray-Dean January 14th, 2014 04:21 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Just as many as there are tri county areas....?

hotsauce January 14th, 2014 05:20 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
If you have chicken for lunch, and chicken for dinner, do you ever wonder if the two chickens knew each other?

johnny27030 January 14th, 2014 05:24 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Are you eating the whole damn chicken!? You might be eating the same chicken for lunch and dinner? If its some of that processed chicken..........you might not even be eating chicken.

DrHax January 14th, 2014 05:35 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by johnny27030 (Post 570059)
Are you eating the whole damn chicken!? You might be eating the same chicken for lunch and dinner? If its some of that processed chicken..........you might not even be eating chicken.

True, I remember in my highschool we were fed crap from cans that when I tracked the company that sold it.... Their main clients were high security prisons and insane asylums.... :blink: Seriously its bad when a burger only has flavour when its BURNT! :panic:

DrHax January 14th, 2014 07:39 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by whozawhat (Post 570069)
^^^^Was it Soylent Green;)

:blink: I WAS EATING PEOPLE! :panic:




















Cool :chillin::finger:

metalmaster1766 January 14th, 2014 09:50 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ray-Dean (Post 569983)


If Lady GaGa was married, and she and her man's went to Mexico, the locals would call him Senior HaHa...


Anyone else?

I'm not gonna be able to think of anything else now, Seniorita HAHA is gonna be stuck in my head whenever I hear her name, hell I had to Google Lady GaGa & then listen to a youtube song of hers just so I'd know who they were talking about on TV, the few times they showed pictures of her I thought maybe she bought Elton John's 70's costume stash to make herself famous

@ the english vocabulary, the words knee, knife, opossum, & hors d'oeuvre just baffle the shit out a me, I make sure I make the O sound, except more like "ah" sound when I say opossum just to make people think "HMmmm, he ain't right", or at a party, n I ask "Whar's da Horsedvor's ??"
I get some strange looks

& WTF,
It's been a while since me & the wife have been to a nice restaurant, so one night we go to a steak house & I order a porterhouse, n they bring me a flippin butter knife, so, I ask for a steak knife, n they don't have them anymore at that restaurant (<- who decided to spell that word?) so I reached for my belt n got my knife so i could cut it up, I thought the waitress was gonna faint when I opened it up, musta thought I was gonna stab her because they didn't have a steak knives, I just started eating, bout 10 minutes later my wife tells me to slowly look around, it was like nobody in the place had ever seen somebody use a "real" knife to eat before, hell I use it for just about anything I can when the need arises, I keep it clean, ya never know when your gonna hafta cut your food up, a butter knife is for butter, not steak WTF??

Ron

d3ghia January 14th, 2014 11:23 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ray-Dean (Post 570032)
I know right?!?!

Or military intelligence

Or adorable healthcare

Or nice Honda......



Hey! Easy there.....I work for military intelligence :unsure:


Oh wait....I work with a bunch of dumb fucktards.....


yep, military intelligence (except for me of course, I am brilliant)

SCOTTRODS January 15th, 2014 03:27 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by metalmaster1766 (Post 570094)
I'm not gonna be able to think of anything else now, Seniorita HAHA is gonna be stuck in my head whenever I hear her name, hell I had to Google Lady GaGa & then listen to a youtube song of hers just so I'd know who they were talking about on TV, the few times they showed pictures of her I thought maybe she bought Elton John's 70's costume stash to make herself famous

@ the english vocabulary, the words knee, knife, opossum, & hors d'oeuvre just baffle the shit out a me, I make sure I make the O sound, except more like "ah" sound when I say opossum just to make people think "HMmmm, he ain't right", or at a party, n I ask "Whar's da Horsedvor's ??"
I get some strange looks

& WTF,
It's been a while since me & the wife have been to a nice restaurant, so one night we go to a steak house & I order a porterhouse, n they bring me a flippin butter knife, so, I ask for a steak knife, n they don't have them anymore at that restaurant (<- who decided to spell that word?) so I reached for my belt n got my knife so i could cut it up, I thought the waitress was gonna faint when I opened it up, musta thought I was gonna stab her because they didn't have a steak knives, I just started eating, bout 10 minutes later my wife tells me to slowly look around, it was like nobody in the place had ever seen somebody use a "real" knife to eat before, hell I use it for just about anything I can when the need arises, I keep it clean, ya never know when your gonna hafta cut your food up, a butter knife is for butter, not steak WTF??

Ron

That Knife thing... That's Swave and De-Boner (You'll figure it out with a little time - More F'd Up words)

bigguy January 15th, 2014 12:50 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
I often wonder if we were not taught what the colors were what we would call them. Red could be blue and black is green and on and on. I think I like the color clear cause I can see all the other colors behind it.

tattooed_pariah January 15th, 2014 01:39 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by bigguy (Post 570121)
I often wonder if we were not taught what the colors were what we would call them. Red could be blue and black is green and on and on. I think I like the color clear cause I can see all the other colors behind it.

I once read an article about a guy who posed a color-related question for a thesis assignment and received full credit because even though it sounds ridiculous at first, there was no scientific way for them to prove he was wrong..

Basically, he said that the color wavelengths were gradually shifting, but because they were doing it at the same rate of change and at such a gradual amount, humans didn't notice it. Eventually though, the wavelength we currently see as blue, would become the wavelength for green and vice versa, or something like that.. Everything would still look the same as it does now, but the wavelengths themselves would be backwards..

amrcnbadaz January 15th, 2014 01:40 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by bigguy (Post 570121)
I often wonder if we were not taught what the colors were what we would call them. Red could be blue and black is green and on and on. I think I like the color clear cause I can see all the other colors behind it.

WTF is "mauve" and "taupe"? :Idunno:

SCOTTRODS January 15th, 2014 03:09 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by bigguy (Post 570121)
I often wonder if we were not taught what the colors were what we would call them. Red could be blue and black is green and on and on. I think I like the color clear cause I can see all the other colors behind it.

Better yet, What if what I see, that everyone calls green, might actually be what I see as blue, to you, but we all call it green, so no matter what the color is to each individual, we all call it the same thing. What the hell color would Rose colored glasses be? :Idunno::AssScratch:

SCOTTRODS January 15th, 2014 03:11 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
I want to grow my own food. Where do I buy Bacon Seeds?

DocMike January 15th, 2014 04:55 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
If the milk chocolate melts in your mouth and not in your hand, what does it do in your armpit?

Doc

DrHax January 15th, 2014 05:30 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
"God this tastes like shit"


How do you know what shit tastes like? Or piss is there a comparative standard? Or have we all one time in our life had piss or shit rammed into out mouths unwillingly?

V8Transporter January 15th, 2014 06:24 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Hmm, if you ever have the chance, try some of the C-Ration's meals some time...cold. Especicllay the Beef & Potatos or Ham & Eggs.:blink:

DocMike January 15th, 2014 09:11 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Guys, almost from the very beginning of our potty training we are taught to wash our hands when we finish because we touched ourselves down there but, as we get a bit older and start dating, by the third date all we can think about is "How can I get her to put this in her mouth?" :Idunno:

Doc

tattooed_pariah January 15th, 2014 09:34 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by DocMike (Post 570152)
Guys, almost from the very beginning of our potty training we are taught to wash our hands when we finish because we touched ourselves down there but, as we get a bit older and start dating, by the third date all we can think about is "How can I get her to put this in her mouth?" :Idunno:

Doc

and really you should wash your hands BEFORE you use the restroom.. think about you, you shower in the morning, and (most of us) only expose ourselves to outside germs while using the restroom.. meanwhile your hands are filthy from touching everything all day.. :P

Ray-Dean January 16th, 2014 04:40 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by DocMike (Post 570152)
......as we get a bit older and start dating, by the third date all we can think about is "How can I get her to put this in her mouth?" :Idunno:
Doc



Ok. Y'all are just talking a bunch of fucked up nonsense now.

Who waits for the third date to start thinking about getting a blowjob? :blink:
I realize I've been married for over 10 years now, but back before that, if a chick had a grill like a cheese grater I didn't go on a first date..... Just sayin.... :Idunno:

alykat January 16th, 2014 06:08 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by V8Transporter (Post 570143)
Hmm, if you ever have the chance, try some of the C-Ration's meals some time...cold. Especicllay the Beef & Potatos or Ham & Eggs.:blink:

:funny::funny::funny::funny::funny::funny::funny: Ah crap ! Ohooo the memories. My team was at an LP near An Khe and the resupply chopper dropped us a case of rats...packaging date 1953 ! Even worse, we ate the damn things.

Ray-Dean January 16th, 2014 06:16 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
1953? How was the gum? LOL

Yeah launching sorties from the gulf during the first one and several westpac's later and my teeth still hurt from chewing some of that shit. And yes! It tasted like shit!! But it was better than the "box lunch"... Nothing has worse than cold chicken by-product nuggets at 2:00 a.m.

V8Transporter January 16th, 2014 03:12 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Ah yes, the memories. While spending a lovely 57 days on a little OP on the edge of the Ashau, we finally got a resupply and the Cs were maggot infested. Now there was a WTF moment.:blink: Our LT told us that bugs were "really high in protein." You know, we really need a little 'barfing' icon. :grin:

SCOTTRODS January 16th, 2014 04:03 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Anyone else notice how Celery Tastes like Scotch Tape.... smells?


Just sayin'

V8Transporter January 16th, 2014 04:34 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
But it doesn't stick to your teeth as bad.....

bigguy January 16th, 2014 05:25 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Why is it we believe what we talk as a language is correct. What does my dog really think as he begins to hump the air cause he is excited to see me.

amrcnbadaz January 16th, 2014 05:49 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by bigguy (Post 570204)
What does my dog really think as he begins to hump the air cause he is excited to see me.


:funny::funny:

bigguy January 16th, 2014 06:54 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back. A stick.

bigguy January 16th, 2014 06:58 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Does holey water have holes in it. What amount of money in the offering plate actually goes to the church. Do pussywillow trees grow next to ash trees.

bigguy January 16th, 2014 07:00 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Green means go yellow means drive like an ass to get through it and red makes me look for cops in all diretions.

d3ghia January 16th, 2014 10:54 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
When I was stationed in Germany I accompanied a nice frauline to her home for dinner with her parents.

They had a parrot that talked. It said, "gruss gott" and "ich leiber dich"



I thought it was the smartest bird ever. Much smarter than parrots in 'Merica.




This one not only talked, it had learned a foreign language.

metalmaster1766 January 17th, 2014 04:58 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by bigguy (Post 570215)
Green means go yellow means drive like an ass to get through it and red makes me look for cops in all diretions.

That reminds me of an old joke, & yeah, it kinda makes ya wanna say WTF!

So one day I was riding around with a friend, we come to a red lite, he slows down & drives right thru it, I say, "hey, you just ran a red lite", he says,"I know, my brother does it all the time", so after a few more red lites we finally come to a green lite & he stops, I say "why ya stopping, the lite is green" he says "cause my brother's out driving today" WTF? :funny::funny:


Ron

johnny27030 January 17th, 2014 10:45 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by d3ghia (Post 570232)
When I was stationed in Germany I accompanied a nice frauline to her home for dinner with her parents.

They had a parrot that talked. It said, "gruss gott" and "ich leiber dich"



I thought it was the smartest bird ever. Much smarter than parrots in 'Merica.




This one not only talked, it had learned a foreign language.



Hahaha.....guess that would be really cool, if you were still in Merica'. What the hell did that bird say anyway? Translated into english.

d3ghia January 17th, 2014 12:51 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Gruss gott is a greeting - sort of like our "what's up". It actually started as a longer phrase meaning something like may God greet you or something.

Ich leiber dich means I love you.

metalmaster1766 January 17th, 2014 07:21 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Talking bout the talking bird brings back an old child hood memory, my grandma knew some woman about her age that had a bunch of birds (she was super rich), one of them was a parrot named Polly, she also had a few parakeets & a cockatoo, when ever this woman would go out of town she'd bring her birds to my grandma's house so she could bird sit them until she got back home, me & my brother spent just about every weekend at my grand parents house, so I got attached to the parrot which repeated just about everything it heard on a regular basis, so one day the parrot started cussing, just a few words, shit, son of a bitch & damn-it was it, it took a while, but we finally figured out where the parrot was hearing the cussing from, they were kept in the bedroom where my grandpa got dressed for work in the mornings, if he couldn't find what he wanted he'd mumble a few cuss words, she finally started keeping the birds in another bedroom

About 3 times a year Mrs Elsaesser (the lady with the birds), would call me at my house, she wanted me to talk to her parrot over the phone because she said it would act really sad after getting home, so I'd spend about 30 minutes talking to her parrot, as soon as I said "Hey Polly" Polly would say back "Hey Ronnie" the dadgum bird knew my voice & my name, I talked to that bird until I was between 8 or 15 years old, I just thought it was amazing that a bird was that smart to recognize my voice & remember my name, I missed those calls when she passed away, I never did know what happened to her birds, but the Elsaesser family was purty large & plenty rich, the parrot was around 17 years old when I first met it & I heard they can live to be in their 70's depending on the type, I'm purty sure her's was an Amazon parrot, so it could very well be alive to this day, I haven't thought about that bird for almost 25+ years
Thank ya Keith for bring back a great memory :grin::thumbsup:

Ron

JiI January 17th, 2014 09:30 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by SCOTTRODS (Post 570131)
I want to grow my own food. Where do I buy Bacon Seeds?

People think Jesus is so special because he turned water into wine. I like pigs as they turn veggies and slop into bacon!!!!:dancing:
Jeff

hotsauce January 18th, 2014 07:47 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
If Noah had the benefit of hindsight on his ship, he coulda snatched up two unicorns, and left behind the muthafuckin pigs... I hear unicorns are scrumptualescent. (Yes, I made that word up)

JiI January 18th, 2014 08:09 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
'sauce, you feelin' okay buddy?:blink:
Jeff

bigguy January 19th, 2014 03:01 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Popularity contests in life are like a sheep hearding contest. They always try to separate the black sheep from the bunch only to realize the black sheep really don't care. Now JiI will have wild vivid dreams of sheep.

bigguy January 19th, 2014 03:08 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Why haven't hubless wheels become the new vw bug wheel of choice.

hotsauce January 19th, 2014 04:52 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JiI (Post 570369)
'sauce, you feelin' okay buddy?:blink:
Jeff


Better...

JiI January 19th, 2014 06:30 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by bigguy (Post 570375)
Popularity contests in life are like a sheep hearding contest. They always try to separate the black sheep from the bunch only to realize the black sheep really don't care. Now JiI will have wild vivid dreams of sheep.

Like I dream of anything but......:grin:
Jeff

SCOTTRODS January 19th, 2014 06:54 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by bigguy (Post 570376)
Why haven't hubless wheels become the new vw bug wheel of choice.

It's really not so much the hubless wheels, as the braking systems are way out of sight in pricing on 12" wide hubless rims. BUt I AM working on it. :plasmacutter::sawzall::welder::AssScratch: :Idunno: :stoned:

bigguy January 19th, 2014 08:45 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
I think I need to go to the samba and ask them how to restore a RX4.

bigguy January 19th, 2014 08:48 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Why is it OK to grow up like a boy to get dirty. But your wife tries for years to keep you clean and not to destroy the " good clothes" .

bigguy January 19th, 2014 08:49 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
JiI is one of the cool kids now

JiI January 19th, 2014 11:00 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by bigguy (Post 570389)
JiI is one of the cool kids now

That's how I roll...:chillin::smile:
Jeff

tattooed_pariah January 19th, 2014 03:15 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by hotsauce (Post 570367)
If Noah had the benefit of hindsight on his ship, he coulda snatched up two unicorns, and left behind the muthafuckin pigs... I hear unicorns are scrumptualescent. (Yes, I made that word up)

love Aesop, but give credit when you quote people, that way it doesn't appear as though you are trying to lay claim to what THEY wrote.. :hmm:

DrHax January 19th, 2014 03:46 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JiI (Post 570394)
That's how I roll...:chillin::smile:
Jeff

Down sand dunes?



















:funny:

bigguy January 20th, 2014 05:35 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Why does shit smell so bad coming out but the food going down smells so good.

Timbo January 20th, 2014 06:52 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
When a pig farts, does it smell like bacon or sausage? :Idunno:
Tim

tattooed_pariah January 20th, 2014 06:53 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
this one got me in trouble on the USS Peleliu... I asked it during a briefing about classified material and the proper disposal of it (someone kept throwing it in the trash instead of the burn bags..)

"If I eat a classified document, do I have to shit in a burn bag until it passes through my system?"

hotsauce January 20th, 2014 07:49 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by tattooed_pariah (Post 570411)
love Aesop, but give credit when you quote people, that way it doesn't appear as though you are trying to lay claim to what THEY wrote.. :hmm:


That wasn't my intent... I did however make the word scrumptualescent up. :smilespin:

DrHax January 20th, 2014 08:28 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by hotsauce (Post 570449)
That wasn't my intent... I did however make the word scrumptualescent up. :smilespin:

I've heard that word before. It was used in the same sentence as Lunch' time and Calcumalator



:funny:

volkswagnut January 21st, 2014 08:31 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Who was the first to decide:
Lets eat that round thing that bird just shit out..
Lets drink this white stuff this animal has dripping from its teats.

With all the "Buffalo Chicken Wings" being sold and consumed...
How do full size chickens even make it?

Lo Carb beer...really?.... buncha pansies...

It makes absolutely no difference which way the toilet paper is hanging.. be happy its there.

Partly cloudy ....Partly sunny.... WTF.. They are the same..

JiI January 21st, 2014 09:44 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Let's go lick up that orange goo that is surrounded by those stinging striped bugs....
The glass is half empty/ half full...the glass is too damn big!
Beer? (Or anything alcoholic) Why? It tastes terrible and you get drunk.:Idunno:
Jeff

DrHax January 21st, 2014 02:57 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
I want to know who caught a lobster and Thought Lets eat this weird looking thing.

JiI January 21st, 2014 03:56 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by DrHax (Post 570474)
I want to know who caught a lobster and Thought Lets eat this weird looking thing.

The same goes for oysters, clams, shrimp, crayfish and mollusks.
Jeff

unclefargo January 21st, 2014 04:44 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JiI (Post 570479)
The same goes for oysters, clams, shrimp, crayfish and mollusks.
Jeff

Grasshoppers, locus, ants, and in Australia, Witchity Grubs! (Large wood grubs that taste like peanuts.)

"Hunger is Natures sauce." (Not mine, I pinched it years ago.)

JiI January 21st, 2014 05:06 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by unclefargo (Post 570482)
Grasshoppers, locus, ants, and in Australia, Witchity Grubs! (Large wood grubs that taste like peanuts.)

"Hunger is Natures sauce." (Not mine, I pinched it years ago.)

Very true. I'm a foodie and will try "almost" anything. What some see as exotic, others see as a daily meal. Remember, "Chinese food" in China is just food.....:smile:
Jeff

tattooed_pariah January 21st, 2014 10:36 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by whozawhat (Post 570476)
Damn, for the last 20 minutes I have been reviewing what I knew about Aesop.:huh:

Specifically the Aesop that I was taught, the old Greek guy that wrote all the fables.:blink:

It confused the shit outta me until I figured out I'm just old and outdated and Aesop is no longer the fable guy but now is a band.:panic:


haha, no i love Aesop's fables, as well as Aesop and Son, but yes, Aesop Rock is a hip hop artist. :P

metalmaster1766 January 22nd, 2014 04:04 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
The egg thing has always given me a laugh, before anyone ever decided to eat one, yet watched them crack open from the inside only to reveal a baby chicken, then one day a bunch just sat there & never turned into a baby chicken, then decided to open it & thought, "Hmmmm, I wonder what that tastes like"

Another thing, I think the movie was "Black Sheep" with Chris Farley & David Spade when they were high from the nitrous tank that leaked & David Spades character started talking about the pronunciation of the word "road" has always made me wonder who got to put names with things, just imagine if the word "shit" meant good, MMM MM, that tastes so shitty I think I'll have some more
That brings up another WTF thought I have had since first hearing about Nostradamus, his description of tanks & planes used in WW II, all that makes me think WTF, but I suppose his visions were nothing like what I'd have come up with if I were to ever try & predict things 400 to 500 years into the future

Ron

JiI January 22nd, 2014 09:39 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by tattooed_pariah (Post 570519)
haha, no i love Aesop's fables, as well as Aesop and Son, but yes, Aesop Rock is a hip hop artist. :P

Now I need to watch Fractured Fairy Tales and Tennessee Tuxeudo.....:smile:
Jeff

d3ghia January 22nd, 2014 08:22 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Why does society and men encourage and think its cool for their sons to engage in sexual encounters when they are teenagers?

"Hell yeah son, get that slut to ride your #@&! or put it in her mouth"

Why do you NOT encourage your daughter to be the one getting bent over the hood or to be putting things in her mouth?


My WTF comes from being a single Dad raising four kids - three of them girls. Every time a young man is encouraged to go do these things - you should keep in mind that you are encouraging him to take advantage of someone's daughter.

Ray-Dean January 22nd, 2014 09:23 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
True story. As the father of three sons, I have to worry about three teenage boys. As the father of three teenage daughters you have to worry about them all...

JiI January 22nd, 2014 10:06 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
I'm not God's little angel but I was never that way. I'm very thankful I have a wonderful wife and I know one of the main reasons she married me was that I respected her. I have many female students and they know that I will kick anyone's ass out of my class for any racial or sexist comments. I've done it more than once too. You have found a good person if you give respect and get it back. (Except Ron and Kim.:grin:)
Jeff

metalmaster1766 January 23rd, 2014 05:04 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JiI (Post 570575)
You have found a good person if you give respect and get it back. (Except Ron and Kim.:grin:)
Jeff

ME?? I'm purty sure your fucking with me most of the time, well all the time (if in fact I'm the Ron you speak of above)
I have thick skin, just don't throws stones at me as my bones are getting to be brittle, kinda like glass, I took prednisone after my transplant for inflammation, they usually take you off it after a few months, but I took it do to all the inflammation I have in my joints, it worked great until I started reading up on it's side effects, after asking my doctor about the bone brittleness & he confirmed what I read, I quit taking it, 3 days later I couldn't get up out of bed without some ones help, that's why I always stay moving

That makes me say Why-TF do they even make drugs that cause such terrible side effects, but that's life, I'd so like to find some natural herb (or what ever the correct word is) that is an anti-rejection type drug except a natural thing without all the bad side effects

@ the son's & daughter's & sex, a daughter can only get pregnant once every 9 months, but a son can make a baby once a day or more

My wife gave both our 2 boys the sex talk at about the age of 10, she always told them about condoms, not only for birth control but so they couldn't get STD's, she also told them to wait until you get everything you want before thinking about sex & babies, cause once you have a child you have a responsibility & toys for you come last, or until the child turns 18 & finished high school
But it doesn't matter how much you talk to you children about sex & the consequences, if your not with them 24/7 to remind them "use a condom or no don't have sex", they quickly forget everything they have been told, & it was something she drilled into them everyday
Then at 17 years old (2004), our oldest son told my wife on April 1st that his girlfriend was pregnant, hell we hadn't even met her, & she wouldn't talk to us until around May of that year
When my wife told me (she took me out shopping so we would be around lots of people, she was afraid I'd lose it & smack the shit out of him or something) I said "it's just an April Fools joke", but it was no joke, that following November 30th our 1st grand daughter arrived
She was surprised how well I took it, I never thought I'd live long enough to become a grandparent, so I was happy

Now once our youngest turned 15, she bought condoms & told him where they were & if he ever even thinks about it to think & protect yourself & the girl you plan to have sex with (so he wouldn't make the same mistake & have children before graduating school), she still drilled into his head that sex isn't something you do just for fun, it is a responsibility you can't walk away from, wait until you get all the toys you want in life first, he will be 22 this July, so far he hasn't reproduced

Ron

JiI January 23rd, 2014 07:58 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Yeah, I was talking about you Ron!:funny:
I can't even remember 17 other than getting my driver's license and not being able to use it as my parents thought the world was going to end for "their precious baby who might meet a bad person in the big naughty world!" Yeah, my younger years were hell.
Jeff

Ray-Dean January 23rd, 2014 08:10 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Younger years.....?

JiI January 23rd, 2014 09:06 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Well, my older years are hell too.... I'll be 43 in April.
Jeff

SCOTTRODS January 23rd, 2014 04:32 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by d3ghia (Post 570573)
Why does society and men encourage and think its cool for their sons to engage in sexual encounters when they are teenagers?

"Hell yeah son, get that slut to ride your #@&! or put it in her mouth"

Why do you NOT encourage your daughter to be the one getting bent over the hood or to be putting things in her mouth?


My WTF comes from being a single Dad raising four kids - three of them girls. Every time a young man is encouraged to go do these things - you should keep in mind that you are encouraging him to take advantage of someone's daughter.

Having a Daughter of one's own, makes one think a little differently. I have a 26 yr old... Felt the same as you do and still feel that way. I was a young man once, and sometimes feel like a complete heel for having been one... Somehow glad I lived through those years. Especially knowing how I felt as a father/Dad.

metalmaster1766 January 24th, 2014 06:59 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
I met my wife at 17 years old, I can remember most of the years before I became a father at 21, she reminds me of all the times I got so drunk & blacked out or either past out
I'm lucky to still be in this world & I owe most of that to her, hell I even owe being alive for the last 13 years to her, granted a few surgeons & modern medicine have helped
As of this April we have been together 31 years, truly the BEST thing that ever happened to me

Ron

alykat January 24th, 2014 07:53 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
1 Attachment(s)
Yaeh, this makes a lot of sense.

SCOTTRODS January 24th, 2014 04:17 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
And some more Laughable signs

http://funnyaussiesigns.com/wp-conte...gn-400x290.jpg

http://mikeebutcher.files.wordpress..../01/advice.jpg

http://i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slides...6821_large.jpg

And one more Pic that'll make you go "WTF?".

http://a.abcnews.com/images/US/ht_ba...0403_wmain.jpg

SCOTTRODS January 24th, 2014 04:19 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
And one of my all time Fav's...



http://autoweek.com/storyimage/CW/20...ru-parking.jpg

tattooed_pariah January 24th, 2014 05:22 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by SCOTTRODS (Post 570645)
And one more Pic that'll make you go "WTF?".

http://a.abcnews.com/images/US/ht_ba...0403_wmain.jpg

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/...PjgS_blog.html

JiI January 24th, 2014 06:58 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by metalmaster1766 (Post 570620)
I met my wife at 17 years old, I can remember most of the years before I became a father at 21, she reminds me of all the times I got so drunk & blacked out or either past out
I'm lucky to still be in this world & I owe most of that to her, hell I even owe being alive for the last 13 years to her, granted a few surgeons & modern medicine have helped
As of this April we have been together 31 years, truly the BEST thing that ever happened to me

Ron

Old joke: Old guy says he's been married 54 years, "Best 12 years of my life."

Been with my wife 16, married a touch over 10. She is blind and mental like John's, Kim's and yours Ron. :tongue:
Jeff

V8Transporter January 25th, 2014 07:57 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Our 33rd anniversary is this June 20th. 'Been together since Dec. 17th, 1979. I've always kinda' wondered about her mental condition as she took a (HUGE) chance on a Vietnam Vet turned pilot living in his home-built camper at a local airport. :grin:

DrHax January 25th, 2014 09:06 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by SCOTTRODS (Post 570603)
Having a Daughter of one's own, makes one think a little differently. I have a 26 yr old... Felt the same as you do and still feel that way. I was a young man once, and sometimes feel like a complete heel for having been one... Somehow glad I lived through those years. Especially knowing how I felt as a father/Dad.

:blink: I try to respect women :unsure: Hell I didn't even view the opposite sex in a real proper sexual nature( Had no desire to EVEN date. :ohmy:) until my current girlfriend came in the picture. We've been together for a over a year and been through some shit together :blink: Honestly I never saw the appeal of being like a bleedin' rabbit :Idunno:

Theres about 13 girls pregnant at her school currently :wacko: 9 during the school year when I was there last year, and then I saw 4 I recognised over the summer who became pregnant (2 where in my classes) :panic: Granted people assume my girlfriend is sterile because she isn't pregnant like other girls in the school :AssScratch:. Some times I really do question people :finger:

JiI January 26th, 2014 07:07 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by V8Transporter (Post 570701)
Our 33rd anniversary is this June 20th. 'Been together since Dec. 17th, 1979. I've always kinda' wondered about her mental condition as she took a (HUGE) chance on a Vietnam Vet turned pilot living in his home-built camper at a local airport. :grin:

My wife has only made 2 mistakes that I know of. 1. saying yes and then 2. I do.:Idunno: Now her life is damnned to misery...
Jeff

JiI January 26th, 2014 07:14 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by DrHax (Post 570703)
:blink: I try to respect women :unsure: Hell I didn't even view the opposite sex in a real proper sexual nature( Had no desire to EVEN date. :ohmy:) until my current girlfriend came in the picture. We've been together for a over a year and been through some shit together :blink: Honestly I never saw the appeal of being like a bleedin' rabbit :Idunno:

Theres about 13 girls pregnant at her school currently :wacko: 9 during the school year when I was there last year, and then I saw 4 I recognised over the summer who became pregnant (2 where in my classes) :panic: Granted people assume my girlfriend is sterile because she isn't pregnant like other girls in the school :AssScratch:. Some times I really do question people :finger:

Been a teacher for 16 years. The level of stupid I have heard breaks the meter every year.....
Jeff

DrHax January 26th, 2014 10:00 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JiI (Post 570724)
Been a teacher for 16 years. The level of stupid I have heard breaks the meter every year.....
Jeff

Yeah... Still you should have seen the reaction when people inquired what I was going to do with my girlfriend after graduation. I said i'm going to wait for her.. I've never actually seen somebody go cross eye as their brain malfunctions.. That was pretty much it. It seems nobody in that school wants to stay with their girl enless she pops out a baby :blink: :Idunno:

I have plenty of WTF stories from my two highschools that will you make fear our current generation. :yelling:

JiI January 26th, 2014 10:29 AM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by DrHax (Post 570729)
Yeah... Still you should have seen the reaction when people inquired what I was going to do with my girlfriend after graduation. I said i'm going to wait for her.. I've never actually seen somebody go cross eye as their brain malfunctions.. That was pretty much it. It seems nobody in that school wants to stay with their girl enless she pops out a baby :blink: :Idunno:

I have plenty of WTF stories from my two highschools that will you make fear our current generation. :yelling:

Dude, I already fear your generation! Not all but as a generalization, their taste in music, clothing, movies and humor is horrible. I'm surprised schools don't offer a class in the proper way to say, "You want fries with that?"
Then again, I hear some of the stories my students say, "Yeah, we bailed mom out of jail again. We think her latest boyfriend got her pregnant in the alley so she went out drinking after the Nickleback concert but got caught with weed..." etc... And I'm thinking, a lot of these parents are my age, so there are a lot of losers in my generation too.:wacko::Idunno:
Jeff

Ray-Dean January 26th, 2014 02:39 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Hey hey hey!!!!!

What the fuck? Every generation feels the elder one is fucked up, and the older it getsz the more fucked up it feels the younger generation is. Think about this.... Now that you are parents, think back to all the shit your parents did and said that.you thought was so.far fucking off the wall that you swore on your life you'd never be like them..... Looking back now, how wrong were you?

Now, I agree, when I was a kid, we played with cars, frogs, snakes, rode bikes, skateboards, did all kinds of stupid crazy.shit, but we didn't have sex. That shit never even crossed our minds that you really did that sort of thing. Yeah, you thought about it, but.it didn't REALLY happen...

Now days it happens all the time. So those of us who grew up in the "age of innocence" can't believe that kids are having sex at 11, 12, 13 years old, because at that age, we weren't thinking about that. Yeah everyone wanted to kiss/date/whatever Catherine Bach (Daisy Duke for you youngsters) and Linda Carter (Wonder Woman) but we didn't try to bang littte Susie down the street.

It like all the dumbasses who did LSD in the 60's, Coke int the 70's, Crack in the 90's think it's totally off the fucking chart that someone would do Meth. But to a meth head, losing all their teeth, aging by decades in a matter of months, and sucking dick for their next dose of drain cleaner is perfectly acceptable. Now marijuana is "legal" in a couple states, and soon to be in several more, yet it's still illegal accounting to the US Government...

Personally, I think they all need to smoke a bowl from the end of a loaded .45. Yes I have a fucked up view on life, but it's my view, you don't have to share it.

JiI January 26th, 2014 02:46 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Now how the hell do you respond to that?:Idunno: Nice one R-D!:thumbsup:
Jeff

Ray-Dean January 26th, 2014 03:02 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
With the truth!

They claim that marijuana is a harmless drug and that no one ever died from it. I'd like to see and hear those individuals make that argument in the face of the father's, mother's, husband's, wife's, and children of every law enforcement officer, DEA agent, military personnel, and yes even drug dealer and gang banger who is no longer with up because of marijuana in one way or another.

Marijuana may not directly kill you, but countless lives are lost every day because of it. Doesn't sound harmless to me...

Now, WTF?

DrHax January 26th, 2014 04:03 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ray-Dean (Post 570744)
Hey hey hey!!!!!

What the fuck? Every generation feels the elder one is fucked up, and the older it getsz the more fucked up it feels the younger generation is. Think about this.... Now that you are parents, think back to all the shit your parents did and said that.you thought was so.far fucking off the wall that you swore on your life you'd never be like them..... Looking back now, how wrong were you?

Now, I agree, when I was a kid, we played with cars, frogs, snakes, rode bikes, skateboards, did all kinds of stupid crazy.shit, but we didn't have sex. That shit never even crossed our minds that you really did that sort of thing. Yeah, you thought about it, but.it didn't REALLY happen...

Now days it happens all the time. So those of us who grew up in the "age of innocence" can't believe that kids are having sex at 11, 12, 13 years old, because at that age, we weren't thinking about that. Yeah everyone wanted to kiss/date/whatever Catherine Bach (Daisy Duke for you youngsters) and Linda Carter (Wonder Woman) but we didn't try to bang littte Susie down the street.

It like all the dumbasses who did LSD in the 60's, Coke int the 70's, Crack in the 90's think it's totally off the fucking chart that someone would do Meth. But to a meth head, losing all their teeth, aging by decades in a matter of months, and sucking dick for their next dose of drain cleaner is perfectly acceptable. Now marijuana is "legal" in a couple states, and soon to be in several more, yet it's still illegal accounting to the US Government...

Personally, I think they all need to smoke a bowl from the end of a loaded .45. Yes I have a fucked up view on life, but it's my view, you don't have to share it.

I have no idea what to say to that other then :clapping: Its insane the amount of sex that happens, and the drugs. I thought my parents were blowing things out of proportions to just boogey man style scare me... Turns out the old days of Weed, horse tranquilzers and that one bastard who managed to get LSD.. is nothing compared to what I saw at my school before this one (City school) Coke, weed everywhere,pills, Fuck I had a best friend I knew in elementary go into rehab because they found him in the bathroom popping pills. Three freshman got expelled because two of them where having sex in the school's elevator (That thing is locked down with a special key , so they swiped it from somebody in a wheelchair :blink:) One recorded it AND uploaded it to the internet.

:panic: I'm with you it's just fucked up. l the crap I saw in the city and the transition to the "Rural, Hick filled" country school. God damnit I'd rather deal with the "rednecks" anyday then the crap I saw in the cities. Granted there was more theft in the country school :hmm: But at least some fucking asshole didn't pull a butterfly knife out at me and threaten me because I had the nerve to stand up for a friend. I've been mugged and assaulted and each time I thought back the schools treated me exactly the same the person who committed the crime. :yelling:

I could go on an on about this shit. When I graduated I was so freaking relieved that I survived without having to fucking kill somebody in self defense.:finger: I just pray that if i have kids they don't go 1/10th the shit I or my girlfriend went through. Because NOBODY should have to go through I what did in school. :finger:

JiI January 26th, 2014 04:39 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
damn.....:blink:
Jeff

V8Transporter January 26th, 2014 05:15 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
I keep reading in the paper that grass is a "harmless drug." Then in the same paper and on a daily basis, some guy's door gets kicked in by a couple of guys who shoot up the place, sometimes killing someone at the house, to steal his, "legal crop". WTFO?:Idunno: We had a double murder just down the road last year from a "harmless drug" deal gone bad.

And, yup, that's just what we need, a bunch of fucking pot heads driving down the road smoking their legal drug. Go for it RD.:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

JiI January 26th, 2014 05:46 PM

Re: Things that make you say.... WTF?
 
Had a student who was out there...very smart but dangerous in how he could think. Very hippie; dreadlocks, hemp clothes, love beads etc. Said that pot is an herb given to us by mother earth for our mental nourishment and freedom of space... blah blah blah and some other nonsense. I told him Poison Ivy was a gift then too, so why didn't he try smoking that?:hmm:
Now I have no problem knowing it does have medicinal properties and it has helped many people with glaucoma, siezure/ epilepsy and several physical ailments, but the high is the side effect. Basically it allows you to not care and be okay with that. If it's prescribed, not much of a problem with that. But if you just want to get bonged in you mom's basement:stoned:...:yelling:
Jeff


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