Cut-Weld-Drive Forums

Go Back   Cut-Weld-Drive Forums > The VolksRodders Forum > The Cutting Board

The Cutting Board Cut... Weld... DRIVE.


User Information
Your Avatar

Stuff to check out...

Cool stuff you NEED!

Forum Stats
Members: 17,477
Threads: 32,236
Posts: 544,732
Total Online: 534

Newest Member: 36wildroadster

Latest Threads
- by yimbo
- by JiI

 
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old June 2nd, 2003, 12:09 PM   #101
PapaG
Forum Member
 
PapaG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: New Ulm, and Caldwell, TX
Posts: 669
Default

Ok here is one Cat Scratch
__________________
Dare to color outside the line. Think out of the box. Be the box. 69 Fastback, 69 Chopped top Squareback, 87 Syncro Vanagon, and more useless projects in the yard to make any redneck jealous.
PapaG is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 2nd, 2003, 12:13 PM   #102
PapaG
Forum Member
 
PapaG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: New Ulm, and Caldwell, TX
Posts: 669
Default

Cut Loose
__________________
Dare to color outside the line. Think out of the box. Be the box. 69 Fastback, 69 Chopped top Squareback, 87 Syncro Vanagon, and more useless projects in the yard to make any redneck jealous.
PapaG is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 2nd, 2003, 12:34 PM   #103
Drakmare
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Bowling Green, KY
Posts: 58
Default

Quote:
Originally posted by PapaG@Apr 4 2003, 08:57 AM
Southern-isms for True Southern People



10.) No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.


16.) True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.


19.) Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

So TRUE!!!!!!!!! But you left one out.


No true southerner pays attention to the 2 yellow lines painted in the center of the road.
__________________
BOOOOOOOOOOO
Drakmare is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 3rd, 2003, 05:17 AM   #104
Scott H
Forum Member
 
Scott H's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: North Carolina, USA
Posts: 4,207
Default

An old farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From
morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field.
He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to
eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, Complain, Complain! Suddenly,the old mule lashed out with both hind feet, caught her smack in the back of the head, and killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.

This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about
it. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said, "Well, the women would come up and say something
about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."

"And what about the men?" the minister asked.

"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."
__________________
Scott
member #29

Quote:
Originally Posted by p-nor View Post
sliding volksrod discount, depending on how much i like you.
Scott H is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 5th, 2003, 12:28 PM   #105
ThrasherBill
Forum Member
 
ThrasherBill's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Burnaby, B.C. Canada eh
Posts: 5,479
Member Photo Albums
Default

The comb-over
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.



[img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/funny.gif[/img]
__________________
ThrasheR

a silent neighbor lady watching bremelo seeking canadian pinstriping lurker~

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unkl Ian View Post
Don't worry about other people.Most of them don't care about you.
ThrasherBill is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 5th, 2003, 05:42 PM   #106
SteveE
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 72
Default

A blond got stuck in a hail storm, and the hail put lots of dents in her car.

She took it to a body shop to see about getting it fixed.

The body shop guy decided to have a little fun with her and told her it was easy to fix:

"Just blow on the tail pipe real hard and all the dents will just pop right out", he told her.

She went home and gave it a try, she blew and blew and nothing happened.

Her blond roommate came out and asked what the hell she was doing.

She explained but added that it just didn't seem to work.

"Of course not dummy you've got to roll the windows up first"

[img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/funny.gif[/img] :D [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/huh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dry.gif[/img] :rolleyes:
__________________
I may be getting older but I refuse to grow up
SteveE is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 7th, 2003, 10:38 AM   #107
lilbill
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,283
Default

Somewhere in the deep south Bubba called an attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suing the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?"

"Yes, Bubba. That's true," answered the lawyer.

"And people are suing the fast food restaurants for making them fat and clogging their arteries with all them burgers and fries - is that true, mister lawyer?"

"Sure is, Bubba, but why do you ask?"

" 'Cause I was thinkin' - maybe I can sue Miller Beer for all them ugly women I've been waken' up with."
lilbill is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 9th, 2003, 09:25 AM   #108
PapaG
Forum Member
 
PapaG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: New Ulm, and Caldwell, TX
Posts: 669
Default

Dear Consumers:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS
2000 TEXAS EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the STATE
of TEXAS.

If you have one of these, you may need help understanding the
commands. The TEXAS EDITION may be recognized by the unique opening screen.
It reads: WINDERS 2000, with a background picture of Willie Nelson
superimposed on a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Please also note:

The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"
Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"
Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic thangs"
Instead of an error message, "Duct Tape" pops up

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN TEXAS EDITION:
Cancel............stopdat
Reset.............try'er agin
Yes...............yep
No................nope
Find..............hunt fer it
Go to.............over yonder
Back..............back yonder
Help..............hep me out here
Stop..............kwitit (WHOA!)
Start.............crank'er up
Settings..........settins
Programs......... stuff at duz stuff
Documents....... .stuff ah done did

Also note that the TEXAS EDITION does not recognize capital
letters or punctuation marks. Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS
2000:

Tiperiter.....................a word processing program
Colerin' Book.................a graphics program
Cyferin' Mersheen.............calculator
Outhouse Paper................notepad
Inner-net.....................Microsoft explorer 5.0
Pitchers......................a graphics viewer


We regret any inconvenience it may have caused. If you
received a copy of the TEXAS EDITION, you may return it to Microsoft for a
replacement version.



I hope this helps all y'all!

Billy Bob Gates
__________________
Dare to color outside the line. Think out of the box. Be the box. 69 Fastback, 69 Chopped top Squareback, 87 Syncro Vanagon, and more useless projects in the yard to make any redneck jealous.
PapaG is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 12th, 2003, 09:00 AM   #109
PapaG
Forum Member
 
PapaG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: New Ulm, and Caldwell, TX
Posts: 669
Default

Andy Rooney says, "As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit round whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And it's usually something more interesting.

A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Older women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

40+ women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women.

An older woman couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. They always know.

A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

40+ women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off that you are a jerk if you're acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise older women for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize ... ANDY ROONEY
__________________
Dare to color outside the line. Think out of the box. Be the box. 69 Fastback, 69 Chopped top Squareback, 87 Syncro Vanagon, and more useless projects in the yard to make any redneck jealous.
PapaG is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 13th, 2003, 08:55 AM   #110
PapaG
Forum Member
 
PapaG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: New Ulm, and Caldwell, TX
Posts: 669
Default



Current Events
__________________
Dare to color outside the line. Think out of the box. Be the box. 69 Fastback, 69 Chopped top Squareback, 87 Syncro Vanagon, and more useless projects in the yard to make any redneck jealous.
PapaG is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 13th, 2003, 12:42 PM   #111
Growler
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: A Mile High
Posts: 199
Default

Classic!! [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/funny.gif[/img]
__________________
I wish I was driving a cartoon car around a boob.
Growler is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 15th, 2003, 06:34 AM   #112
Gravedigger
Forum Member
 
Gravedigger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Member #62 in Mechanicsburg Pa
Posts: 714
Default

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in
our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we
try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those
who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump
at work.

CROP DUSTING
When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in
your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came
from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been
expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY
The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for
other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back
again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become
suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE
A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing apoop in
a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If
you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen.
If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not
hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved.
Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel
uneasy.

JAILBREAK
When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is
usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do
not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to
spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH
The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This
reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This
can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME
Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk
up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks
in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does
not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER
A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see
an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine
under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet
Pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N)
A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes
off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of
Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS
A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect
visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will
reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR
Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force
the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that
can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall
until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable
eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH
A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are
in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert
potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an
ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE
A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are
occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied.
If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can
poop in peace.

WATERMELON
A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is
also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a
diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET
A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet
water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an
Astaire.

UNCLE TED
A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended
lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted
makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait
to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other
bathroom attendees.
__________________
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]



Denny Anderson
Gravedigger is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 17th, 2003, 07:54 AM   #113
Gravedigger
Forum Member
 
Gravedigger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Member #62 in Mechanicsburg Pa
Posts: 714
Default

A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house.

She rang the doorbell and walked in.

She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.

Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.

"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.

"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.

"Love dress? But you're naked!"

"My husband loves for me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites him to no end.

Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end.

He can't get enough of me."

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered,

put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and

laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.

Finally, her husband came home.

He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.

"NEEDS IRONING," he said. "What's for dinner?"

[img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/funny.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/funny.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/funny.gif[/img]
__________________
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]



Denny Anderson
Gravedigger is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 17th, 2003, 11:36 AM   #114
Gravedigger
Forum Member
 
Gravedigger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Member #62 in Mechanicsburg Pa
Posts: 714
Default

"Trees"



A Blond Joke.....


A blonde just totalled her car in a horrific accident.

Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a
scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.

"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"

"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.

"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.

"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving
along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me.
So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left
and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another
tree! I swerved to the left and there...."

"Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this
road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

[img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/funny.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/funny.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/funny.gif[/img]
__________________
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]



Denny Anderson
Gravedigger is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 18th, 2003, 04:51 PM   #115
ThrasherBill
Forum Member
 
ThrasherBill's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Burnaby, B.C. Canada eh
Posts: 5,479
Member Photo Albums
Default

Three Couples, No Sex

Three couples went in to see the minister about becoming new members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went.
The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle aged and the third couple was newly married.

Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister.

The retired couple said it was no problem at all.

The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that it was no problem.

The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint.

''Can of PAINT!'' exclaimed the minister.

''Yeah,'' said the newlywed man. ''She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over.''

The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church.

''That's okay,'' said the man. ''We're not welcome in Home Depot either.''
_________________


ThrasheR
__________________
ThrasheR

a silent neighbor lady watching bremelo seeking canadian pinstriping lurker~

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unkl Ian View Post
Don't worry about other people.Most of them don't care about you.
ThrasherBill is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 22nd, 2003, 08:06 PM   #116
Gravedigger
Forum Member
 
Gravedigger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Member #62 in Mechanicsburg Pa
Posts: 714
Default

A lady walks into a bar and sees a really cute guy sitting at the counter.

She goes over and asks him what he is drinking. "Magic beer," he says.

She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after realizing that there is no one else worth talking to, goes
back to the man sitting at the bar and says, "That isn't really Magic Beer, Is it?"

"Yes, I'll show you. "He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building 3 times and comes back in the window.

The lady can't believe it: "I bet you can't do that again."

He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window.

She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what I'm having."

she gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies.

The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know, Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk."
__________________
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]



Denny Anderson
Gravedigger is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 23rd, 2003, 11:09 AM   #117
Graham
Forum Member
 
Graham's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 31
Default

How do you catch a unique rabbit?














Unique up on it!



How do you catch a tame rabbit?















Tame way, unique up on it!! [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/funny.gif[/img]
__________________
No man with a good car needs to be justified.
Graham is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 23rd, 2003, 12:46 PM   #118
Ianvwsb73
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Just heard this on the radio. "Prices are cheaper than Iraqi military uniforms." -I got a chuckle at least.
  Reply With Quote
Old June 23rd, 2003, 01:26 PM   #119
PapaG
Forum Member
 
PapaG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: New Ulm, and Caldwell, TX
Posts: 669
Default

Boudreaux been fish'n down by de bayou all day an he done run outa
night crawlers. He be 'bout reddy to leave when he seed a snake wit a
big frog in his mout. He knowed dat dem big bass-fish like frogs so he
decided to steal dat froggie. Dat snake, hit be a cotton moufed water
moccasin so he had to be real careful or he'd get bit.
He snuk up behine de snake and grabbed him roun de haid. Dat ole
snake din't lak dat one bit. He squirmed and wrapped hisself roun
Boudreaux's arm try'n to get hisself free. But Boudreaux, him, had a
real good grip on his haid, yeh. Well, Boudreaux pried hit's mout open
and got de frog and puts it in his bait can.

Now, Boudreaux knows dat he cain't let go dat snake or hit's gonna
bite him good, yeah, but he had a plan. He reach into de back pocket of
his bib overhauls and pulls out a pint a moonshine likker. He pour a
couple draps into de snakes mout. Well, dat snake's eyeballs roll back
in hits haid and hit's body go limp. Wit dat, Boudreaux tosses dat snake
into de bayou. Den he goes back to fishin.

A while later, Boudreaux dun feel sumpin tappin on his barefoot toe.
He slowly look down and dare dat water mocassin was with two frogs in
his mout!
__________________
Dare to color outside the line. Think out of the box. Be the box. 69 Fastback, 69 Chopped top Squareback, 87 Syncro Vanagon, and more useless projects in the yard to make any redneck jealous.
PapaG is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 23rd, 2003, 01:40 PM   #120
vwfanatic
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: enfield ct
Posts: 11,865
Member Photo Albums
Default

hey PapaG - you been listening to Mark Gorman you?
vwfanatic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 23rd, 2003, 03:04 PM   #121
PapaG
Forum Member
 
PapaG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: New Ulm, and Caldwell, TX
Posts: 669
Default

Which one???
__________________
Dare to color outside the line. Think out of the box. Be the box. 69 Fastback, 69 Chopped top Squareback, 87 Syncro Vanagon, and more useless projects in the yard to make any redneck jealous.
PapaG is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 23rd, 2003, 03:13 PM   #122
vwfanatic
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: enfield ct
Posts: 11,865
Member Photo Albums
Default

Boudreaux!!!!
vwfanatic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 24th, 2003, 11:24 AM   #123
PapaG
Forum Member
 
PapaG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: New Ulm, and Caldwell, TX
Posts: 669
Default

Giving the Finger

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating
victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all
captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be
impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore
be incapable of fighting in the future.

This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and
the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or
"pluck yew"). Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major
upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the
defeated French, saying, "See, we can still pluck yew!

"PLUCK YEW!"

Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult
consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a
labiodental fricative 'F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the
one-finger-salute are mistakenly thought to have something to do with
an intimate encounter. It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows
used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."

And yew thought yew knew everything! Isn't history more fun
when you know something about it?
__________________
Dare to color outside the line. Think out of the box. Be the box. 69 Fastback, 69 Chopped top Squareback, 87 Syncro Vanagon, and more useless projects in the yard to make any redneck jealous.
PapaG is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 24th, 2003, 07:30 PM   #124
Steve
Administradora El Polacko
 
Steve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Polish Harlem --- Illahee, WA
Posts: 8,576
Member Photo Albums
Default

There was once a little blind girl who desperately wanted to see.

So she went to her mom and asked her, "Mommy, when will I be able to
see?"
With a sad smile she replied, "Well sweetie, today we'll go to the doctor
and get a special cream to make you see."

The little girl was so happy.

So that day the little girl and her mom went down to the doctor and got the
cream. That night the the little girl's mom rubbed the cream all over her eyes
and rapped her face all up in bandages.
The next morning the little girl woke up and stumbled to her mom's room. She woke up her mom with complete excitement.
"Mommy, Mommy, quick take the bandages off so I can see!"
Her mom slowly unraveled the bandages till she finally got them all off.
The little girl opened her eyes to see nothing but the same black as she'd
always seen.
"Mommy, it didn't work, I still can't see!"
Then her mom replied, "I know dear, April Fools!"

[img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/huh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unsure.gif[/img]
Steve is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 24th, 2003, 07:36 PM   #125
Steve
Administradora El Polacko
 
Steve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Polish Harlem --- Illahee, WA
Posts: 8,576
Member Photo Albums
Default

More useless knowledge for your melon...
Did you know?...


Butterflies taste with their feet.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the
world's nuclear weapons combined.

On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.

On average people fear spiders more than they do death.

Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are
already married.

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

It's possible to lead a cow upstairs........but not downstairs.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.

The main library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year
because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the
weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

A snail can sleep for three years.

No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH."

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears
never stop growing. SCARY!!!

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

All polar bears are left-handed.

In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies,
including their eyebrows and eyelashes.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only
on one row of the keyboard.

"Go," is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.


AT LEAST 10 OF YOU DUMBASSES TRIED TO LICK YOUR ELBOW...
DIDN'T YOU?
Steve is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
jokes, popular thread

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 09:42 PM.


Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
ALL text, images, graphics and content herein are Copyright 2002 - 2013 Three Pugs Design - Cut Weld Drive Forums